Creation Spirituality vs. Dogmatic Ideology
After my recent rants against the new pope, I ran across a
new article by Matthew Fox, a mystic, writer, and scholar whom I've long admired. What he says is right on the money, particularly this paragraph:
The silver lining in the election of this, the first Grand Inquisitor as Pope, is this: Now people of conscience the world over have a clear choice between Religion and Spirituality; Fundamentalism and Wisdom; A Punitive Father God and the Mother-Father Creator of Justice and Compassion; Fascism and Control vs. Letting the Spirit Work; between a preferential option for the rich and powerful (cf. Opus Dei) and a preferential option for the poor (as in liberation theology).
Now all people--and Catholics in particular--are called to find their consciences and take a stand about the Punitive Father God of Fundamentalism and the Divine Wisdom of Justice and Compassion and against idolatry including religious idolatry and papalolatry and the television cult of personality, and between lies and truth.
These are important questions and observations. It is interesting to consider how the Catholic Church will react to this new pope.
"it's gonna be greeeeeen tomorrow..."
It's been raining steadily for 48 hours, a deep, consistent rain, one that is not cold. It's not a winter rain, definitely a spring rain that nourishes rather than freezes. This rain awakens, gently rousing life from its wintry slumber.
The next sunny day, life is going to explode in new greenery. I look forward to watching that.
And yes, this post contains at least one primary metaphor.
charm spell
Yes, I'm an old D&D geek; I've played off and on since I was in 7th grade ... mostly off for the past 15 years. But I still use its metaphors on a somewhat regular basis: "make the X roll," "alignment," etc etc etc. Those of you who play know what I mean, those who don't, well, there's always
google.
Anyway, Freakwitch (actually Matt and I as a duo) played an open mic last week. It was our first time playing in front of an audience in way too long. It was fun; we did 4 songs and got a decent reception.
But by far the highlight of the evening was during the opening guitar riff of Seems Like, the ambient conversation in the club dropped instantly and noticeably.
I made my "mass charm" roll! Yeah!
Seriously, this is why I play music. Those moments where I can connect with complete strangers through the sounds I am making on my instrument, those moments where my attention commingles with everyone else's, that is what it's all about.
Mainers need aluminum-foil hats too...
There is
a suspicious ship docked in Portland Harbor that is causing some ... concern. The rumor is that the ship will be tracking the space shuttle discovery, in case it is hijacked by terrorists and crashed deliberately into the International Space Station.
Or something.
when I'm not raging against oppressive religious structures....
... I make sandcastles with my daughter:
It was a gorgeous day today, well into the 80s. First time for the season. Presently, however, a cold front is moving through; we're supposed to get a thunderstorm tonight. The highs will be in the 50s for the next week-ish. Ah well.
More Benedictine rantage
I've been reading up more about
the new Pope Benedict XVI. Not sure why this is so interesting to me, apart from being an ex-Catholic who is very interested in the pope selection as a nice barometer of the spiritual reality of billions of people in the world.
Here's what I've been able to gather about this man (nearly all of it paraphrased from the Wikipedia page linked above):
- He joined the Hitler Youth at the age of 14, in 1941.
- He was drafted into the Nazi army at age 16, and served in the Flak (anti-aircraft corps), shooting at Allied planes in Ludwigsfeld, Unterfohring, Innsbruck, and Gilching. To his credit, he did eventually desert the army, but did so only as the Reich was crumbling into chaos, along with thousands of other German boys.
- He later became a priest, and a professor. He occupied the chair of dogmatic theology at the University of Tubingen, where his thinking took a decidedly conservative stance after the student movements of 1968.
- In 1981, Ratzinger became prefect of "the Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith," which had its name changed from its former tarnished and politically-inconvenient name: the Holy Office of the Inquisition.
- He has argued that homosexuality is a "strong tendency ordered toward an intrinsic moral evil; and thus the inclination itself must be seen as an objective disorder." He has -- on the record -- reprimanded compassionate priests who "do not unequivocally accept ... the intrinsic evil of homosexual activity."
- Philosophically, Benedict is opposed to birth control, abortion, same-sex marriage, and moral relativism.
- He has minimized the child abuse crisis rampant in the Catholic Church, dismissing it by saying "less than 1 percent of priests are guilty of acts of this type." (well, perhaps... but how many thousands of priests are there? And how does this percentage differ from the percentage of pedophiles in the rest of the population?)
- He has argued that "only in the Catholic church is there eternal salvation."
- Argued in the US, before the 2004 election, that voters would be "cooperating in evil" if they voted for a candidate supporting legalized abortion or euthanasia, thus contributing to the Christian Right's manipulation of the 2004 election by smokescreen issues.
So yeah. This guy is hardly consistent with my idea of the Spiritual Leader for 1.2 billion Catholics. This is also why -- at least in the US and in Europe -- Catholicism is becoming increasingly irrelevant. The fact that an old white man will preside over further migrations away from Catholicism, while millions more people are becoming Catholics in South America, Africa, and Asia, only reinforces the racism inherent in the church.
To all the Catholics out there: you get what you deserve. It is my prayer that this election will cause you to think, meditate, and pray about why you are still a Catholic. The Catholic Church (as my father would say, the "big C church") is a formalized, institutionalized bastion of racism, sexism, oppression, intolerance, bigotry, pedophilia, social control, and persecution. It always has been, and it is not likely to be otherwise anytime soon. Any good that has come about from the church is, from where I'm standing, in spite of the political structures of the church. I'm certain that there are good priests, and good congregations, in the Catholic world. But rigid structures presided over by intolerant racists can only get in the way.
repopification
"We are moving toward a dictatorship of relativism which does not recognize anything as for certain and which has as its highest goal one's own ego and one's own desires."
Joe Ratzinger, aka Benedict XVI - Apr 19, 2005
This is one reason I am no longer Catholic. Of course, these days I have very fundamental metaphysical differences with organized religion in general. But to elect a 78-year-old, ultra-conservative guy is going to push more people away from the church.
I want to write more, but it's quite late and I'm fairly incoherent. Or at least, very sleepy.
The scholar in me ...
... is delighted by
this discovery. Very cool.
Sea Water
For the first time all season, I stuck my feet into the sea today. Yup. Still cold. But in a good way today. Today was fantastic. It's been gorgeous out, as I lamented in the audio post below. Today was even better; it was in the 70s.
I woke up to discover my beautiful wife making one of her fantastic quiches. Some friends came over, and I gave a Reiki session, which was quite nice. After that we went to the beach for a while, which was when I dunked my feet.
I was hoping to get a bike ride in today. My bike needs some maintenance; I got a set of allen wrenches the other day hoping that it would be enough to get me back on the road. So when I went to fix it today, I discovered that I have a broken spoke on the rear wheel. So I need to take the wheel in for repair.
Since a bike ride was out of the question, I decided to go to the gym for a workout. It was a quick one, strenuous but good. I tried a new strategy on the elliptical machine; I used less resistance and moved at a higher speed. It felt good.
I also did another shovelglove routine when I got home. My shoulder seems pretty much back to normal. I got one twinge in the gym, but it feels much, much better today.
I made a great dinner for my family, and we spent some good time together today. Had a nice evening with my wife, and then a fantastic phone conversation to end my day.
Tomorrow will be another shovelglove routine (I'm going to try to do the daily M-F routine this week), and then I'll be in the studio all day, reinstalling sonar and resuming work on the Freakwitch project while our kids play outside in the beautiful day.
Life is good.
Physicality redux
My arms and shoulders are feeling strong on one hand, and a bit disconcertingly sore on the other. I've been working my upper body more with both the
shovelglove and in the gym. Though I've had to be a bit gentle with the shovelglove; the site says:
Swinging a sledgehammer around like a spastic maniac is dangerous. But I haven't found anything to suggest that these movements, when properly performed by sane, healthy people, are especially risky.
So I'm sad to say, the first day on the beach (see below) I may have been a bit too close to "spastic maniac." My shoulders are a bit sore, not in a worked-and-pleasantly-aching-muscles kind of way, but in a wow-I-must-have-stretched-some-connective-tissue kind of way. The pain isn't bad by any stretch, but it is a bit worrisome. I don't want to hurt myself.
I did a full shovelglove routine a few days ago, restricting myself to the "official" shovelglove movements, and it was quite a nice workout. I've laid off since then, to give my shoulders a chance to rebound.
I'll give the shovelglove routine another go on Monday, to see what happens with that. I want to get to the normal routine (14 minutes/day, M-F) as soon as possible, but the shovelglove routine works my arms in a way that I'm not used to so I will need to build up to that intellgiently.
But, so far so good. Apart from the mild concern over my shoulders, I feel great!
I'm also reassessing my approach to cardio workouts. I've been using the elliptical machine in the gym, but I've noticed that my legs seem to be getting weaker or more fragile. So I want to try something different for a while. The shovelglove workout it largely cardio, esp. once my muscles get used to it, so I think that will substitute. Also, it's warmer out; walking and biking are in the works. I need to pick up some allen wrenches to get my bike back on the road, though.
production
Been trying to keep up with work lately. Not much to report, except that typesetting is moving forward again, and Freakwitch data management is kicking some butt.
I did something stupid with Knoppix tonight; ran it on the studio box to repartition the hard drive and ended up hosing the entire drive. Not a big problem as all the data was backed up, so I just made new partitions, started from scratch, reinstalled windows, and I'm good to go. I do need to reinstall Sonar; I didn't have the discs with me as I didn't know I'd need them.
But, as of tonight, we have achieved data redundancy, which is of course essential. Forward momentum.
And I'm really looking forward to Beltane this year, did I mention that?
shovelgloving on the beach
My daughter took
two different
pictures of me on the beach today with my new shovelglove. Note the meticulous application of duct tape to the edge of the sledgehammer, transforming it from an ordinary household tool into the ultimate workout machine.... ;-)
Canadian p2p myths
Piercing the peer-to-peer myths: An examination of the Canadian experience has been published. Looks like interesting reading, but the basic idea is that p2p filetrading hasn't really affected artists income at all. I'll try to read it at work today.
religion vs spirituality; theology vs metaphysics
I've been thinking about how I would describe my spiritual reality to someone whom I'd just met. In general, I try to avoid labels as I find them limiting and constricting -- "Do I contradict myself? Very well then I contradict myself, (I am large, I contain multitudes)."
But labels can be useful in a descriptive sense, so long as one does not mistake the map for the territory. In my life I have used some of the following labels at one time or another to describe my spiritual existence (in approximate chronological order): Catholic, Christian, Neopagan, Wiccan, Grailseeker, Philosopher, Pagan, Buddhist, Process Metaphysician, Energy Worker. And indeed, all of them still ring true on some level (apart from the first two).
But that doesn't really say much. For example, what do I mean by "pagan"? This word (its origin is Latin for "redneck") simply means country-dweller; it was a term used by the Christian power establishment to describe those not under their direct control, those who did not live in the cities where their behavior could be easily monitored. These people, who were not constrained by urban routine, tended to live their lives more closely attuned with the cycles of nature (day/night, summer/winter, etc.).
These days I see "pagan" as being broader than "wiccan," in that all wiccans are pagans but not all pagans are wiccans. Wicca, while I appreciate its map, is really too narrow for me. I'm not so much into ritual or tools these days, though I still find them useful as a parent raising a child. When I do my own spiritual work it tends to be introspective and conceived in terms of chi/qi/ki/universal life energy ("chi" from now on), or simply "energy."
I'm already babbling. I'm trying to imagine what I would say to someone interested in my spiritual path. Where to begin?
OK, like a good Buddhist, I'll begin with the Now.
Now, I am more spiritual than religious; I am more metaphysician than theologian. I believe in the divine (how can any awake person not?) but I don't find much divinity in rigid codes of behavior and simplistic modes of religious expression. I am panentheistic in my view of divinity: the divine is in all of creation, and all of creation is animated by the divine. I am intrigued by the relationship between this notion of the divine and chi, the notion of universal life energy. I'm not necessarily convinced that chi is the divine, but I have no doubt that there is a correlation between the two.
For instance, consider any religious experience. Those experiences whose intensity is palpable, you can feel God in you, you get goosebumps on your skin, your heart rate goes up, and your breath is quickened. These instances, in my experience, are utterly charged and suffused with chi. This is what the divine feels like inside of us.
I have spent the last several years learning to feel this energy, and indeed trying to cultivate its intensity within myself. There are many ways to do this -- T'ai Chi and Reiki among the most well-known -- but once I began to focus my attention on the energy, it seemed to come naturally to me. I do have some basic T'ai Chi Ch'uan training, and I have received Reiki attunements, which have undoubtedly helped.
But working with this energy is, in my view, the closest way we have to be in touch with the divine. Awareness of this energy IS awareness of the divine at work in and around us. Prayer becomes something other than linguistic; moments of true communion with the divine can be felt, and this feeling at its most intense is indistinguishable from love.
This energy, by the way, is not a noun but a verb. My view of this sort of energy is highly informed not only by direct experience, but also by the metaphysical map of process metaphysics. This view sees all of creation as being in motion, things constantly move and shift in a neverending state of becoming tempered by endurance. And this view is consistent with chi; the divine energy ebbs and flows as creation vibrates and breathes; all of creation is suffused with chi, some more active than others.
So much of my spiritual practice these days is working with this energy, raising it, directing it, feeling it. And I'm particularly interested in working with this energy with other people who are also trained in this sort of work. One example is music; when I play music with other attentive energy-workers, it produces some of the most vivid examples of energy I know of.
Recently I have experienced this sort of energy work in a new and very intense way, energy work from a distance. This type of work for me is very informed by my Reiki work, which can include distance Reiki, or energy-exchange/healing without physical presence. These recent experiences have, for me, been very powerful in a way I've never experienced, though the energies at work in this situation are not just Reiki; they contain Reiki, but there is more to it than that. There is a very deep connection I feel and am cultivating with this person. And it feels wonderful. As I've been saying to people when I try to describe it: for the first time in a while, my intensity in this sort of work is being reciprocated in a very familiar way. I think we just work very well together. ;-)
whine
In general, I really try hard not to whine. But to go outside on a glorious Maine spring day, with the temperatures in the 60s, the brilliant blue Maine sky that I love so much, a gentle breeze, and the warm sun shining down on my vitamin-D-deprived skin, only to get into my car and drive to an office building where I'll sit for 12 hours in front of a computer with a window teasingly to my immediate right, just isn't fair.
Shovelglove
Well, I went out today and bought a
Shovelglove. And it is now officially a Shovelglove, because rather than wrapping an old sweater around the hammer like some Nazi purist, I covered it with 2 square feet of carpet padding and duct tape.
I was hoping for a 12 pound hammer, but was faced with a choice of 8, 10, or 16 lbs. I erred for a 10 pounder, because a) I'm not concerned with strength, more cardio and endurance; and b) this way hopefully other people (ie, my wife) can use it too.
Looking forward to getting onto the Shovelglove routine.
Spring and bikes
Spring is definitely here. My daughter is outside riding her bike. I'm having some coffee, but I think today will need to be spent outdoors.
JWL.Freakwitch.net (syndicated by LiveJournal.com)
JWL.Freakwitch.net (syndicated by LiveJournal.com) is now operational. I don't mean for this post to be redundant, but it actually is running now. I do plan to become more active in LJ. If you are an LJ person, my friends list is
here.
For the LiveJournal users in the house
I am attempting to
syndicate this site on LiveJournal. The username for the syndication on LJ is jwlindenschmidt.
And for anyone seeing this on LJ, the original is at JWL.Freakwitch.net.
Jupiter Cancer
When I left the studio tonight, I looked up and saw bright, shining, orangish Jupiter, sitting smack dab in the middle of Cancer. I've only recognized Cancer in the sky a handful of times, but tonight it was unmistakeable.
UPDATE: well, it turns out Jupiter is actually in Virgo. That's what I saw and mistook for Cancer. Shows you how much I know my own constellation.... *rolls eyes*
Opportunity Karma
OK, so if I understand the way karma works, we are supposed to repeat our actions until we get them right, culminating in a state of Enlightenment, Boddhisatva, or even Nirvana. Makes sense.
But if that's the case, then aren't we obligated to seize every opportunity we have to repeat a past pattern, but with more skill? If we have a chance to do something right -- something that we've failed at in the past -- aren't we obligated from a soul work perspective to do it right? Doesn't that move us one step closer to these goals? Isn't some old karmic debt repaid?
I'm beginning to think so. Skillful means, indeed.
ding, dong, the pope is dead...
Alright, OK. Once again I am demonstrating my depths of insensitivity by singing a song when a man beloved by millions dies.
Cough, cough.
Witch, Pope, what's the difference? It's a stupid song. Doesn't even matter.
But what gets me about the news of the depopification of the catholic church by natural causes is that the man is being celebrated because he "took on the Soviet regime and emboldened eastern Europeans to bring down the communist system."
Um, yeah. Because you know the Roman Catholic church is all about freeing the common man from the oppressor.
Why so bitter? Well, I grew up Catholic. Oh, and I've spent a lot of time cultivating the ability to think for myself and to question authority. A combination of those two will bring about bitterness every time.
I can hear people now: "but JPII was a good soul, he was a great man." Perhaps. I wouldn't know, I've never met him, I've never felt his soul energy. What I do know is that while he was in office, he upheld ridiculous, atavistic policies that don't make any sense at all. The Catholic Church is still against birth control, when things like AIDS are floating around. The Catholic Church is still anti-choice, when the issue is far too complicated for any sort of systematic policy to address. The Catholic Church remains one of the largest political structures that systematically oppresses women. He ignored and suppressed a horrific epidemic of pedophelia in the US, a cancer that festered within the organization he is responsible for. All of these policies were upheld under JPII's watch.
So yeah. Maybe he was a great man. What do I know.
May he rest in peace, and may the next pope be more forward-thinking. The Roman Catholic church is becoming increasingly irrelevant, and JPII presided over much of that trend.
drums drums drums
Well, last night (on April Fools' Day no less), something happened that hasn't happened in a very long time.
Freakwitch performed with a drummer.
He was a very skilled, experienced drummer who hasn't played in a while. But it's clear to me that were he to choose to do so, he could easily learn the tunes and become part of a very tight band, something that Freakwitch hasn't experienced in a while. Sadly, I'm not yet convinced his reality is such that he can dive in to a project like this; Freakwitch at this point would be a 2-night per week commitment at the very least.
On another note, he was a little taken aback by my drum programming, saying that it sounded like a "real drummer." Maybe he was just saying that, but he seemed sincere. So it was good to hear. My work at learning this is apparently paying off. He also got a kick out of performing the "drums" on the keyboard.
So those of you so inclined, send energy to Freakwitch finding the right drummer soon. Given the energies in my life lately, it would not surprise me at all to find one on our doorstep very soon. And if the right drummer were to appear, I think we'd sound a lot more interesting in a live context. And given the burgeoning music scene in Portland, there should be many opportunities to play in front of us.
April
The month of April typically conjures two things in my mind. First, and foremost (said the trickster), is April Fool's Day. Second, is the trite phrase pounded in to my elementary-school consciousness: "April showers bring May flowers."
While bewaring sudden manifestations of pilgrim boats, it is indeed a rainy April day, gray, wet, and gorgeous. It's supposed to keep raining for the next 36 hours or so. Don't get me wrong, at this stage I prefer it to snow. Spring is here, and although there are the skeletal remnants of snow -- which unlike bleached bones get dirtier as they decay -- the air is warmer, and the lingering snowbanks know their time is running out.
But when the last drop of water melts and is reabsorbed into the mother, new stirrings are evident. Sprouts of green poke up and demand to be seen by attentive souls. New beginnings, another pass on the spiral of birth, growth, death, and rebirth, leave their energy imprints all around them; they touch everything that looks upon them, leaving a sweet taste of possibility and hope upon the palate.
Today, I feel life rejuvenated.
And all these stirrings land in my lap on April Fool's Day. Could it be one giant cosmic joke? Could the ineffable trickster be toying with me? Possibly. I've never quite discounted the notion of the Cartesian "evil genius" whose sole purpose is to mess with our reality, obscuring the division between reality and fantasy. But the evidence for this is less and less, as the Brezsnian notion of pronoia -- the irrational belief that all of creation is conspiring to shower you with blessings -- seems more and more real to me as time goes on.
Spring is here. Blessings are real. Just sayin.'
