on masculinity
I've been thinking a lot about masculinity, or more specifically about what it means to be a man in this world we inhabit. This is a difficult thing to do given patriarchy; indeed many,
including feminists, have theorized about masculinity in this world. But given that one of my main models for divinity includes a masculine/feminine duality, and that the intermingling dance of these two energy archetypes embody all that exists, I must clarify what I mean when I say "male" or "masculine."
And if we want to imitate the divine, we must be clear about what "masculine" and "feminine" mean.
These meanings are corrupted, I believe, in our society today. For example, look at what femininity means in our society. Pagans often use the "maiden, mother, crone" trinity to refer to the feminine. In our TV society, the maiden is a supermodel with a flat, muscular stomach and large breasts. Mother is busy at work all day cleaning house and cooking a meal, and can only be interrupted to comfort a skinned knee. The Crone is the grandmother of the house, who has no real power in a political sense but who can silence a room with her wisdom and insight.
This is pretty far from a complete picture of femininity.
In the same way, what is often taken for masculinity in this culture -- physical strength, fighting prowess, aggressiveness, etc -- is woefully inadequate. I would in fact go a step further and say that these characteristics should not be associated with men; on the contrary, these are boyish traits that a grounded, self-realized man would have long since overcome and harnessed.
So what is left? What does it mean to be a man -- a grounded, fully-integrated into the tribe/community/family unit, using-his-strength-well man -- in this society?
Central to these questions is strength. Men are strong, right? That is of course a generalization as there are many kinds of strength. But one thing I believe to be true: strength is measured in kinetic energy, not potential energy. Stength is not how much Ahh-nuld can benchpress; rather, strength is what a man (or anyone) does with his abilities.
And if you look to the masculine -- particularly the divine masculine archetypes, I'm thinking of Christ, Odin, Prometheus, etc -- one of the primary attributes is self-sacrifice. The man uses his strength, selflessly, for the greater good. And I'm more and more convinced that this trait of self-sacrifice -- willing, non-begrudging, with a full awareness of the work leading to the greater good for all -- is a primary trait of the masculine half of divinity.
We see glimpses of this ideal in popular culture, though it isn't usually associated with masculinity, but rather of heroism. The man who rushes into a burning building to save the baby in the crib, the knight in shining armor who risks life and limb to save the damsel in distress, the war hero who gives his life by falling on a grenade to protect his fellow troops, even the domestic corporate wageslave who sells his attention for all-too-many hours each week as the "breadwinner" to support his family.
It takes a tremendous amount of strength, in becoming a man, to learn to "lay my sword down at your feet" of one's family, one's community, one's companions, for the greater good of everyone.
And it seems to me that this kind of energy is moving through me now. I am in a situation where I need to practice restraint, to do some deep personal Work for the greater good of my family and my immediate community. And I use this model of masculinity because the nature of this Work is to quieten the fears of my "inner little boy" (heh, how cheesy), and to show some strength, some deep, masculine strength, in trusting that this Work is not only for my own growth and benefit, but also that everyone else involved with this will benefit.
I am nearly 37 years old, and it seems I am still learning how to be a man....
Study finds no marijuana-lung cancer link
As you know, I occasionally check out corporate media to see what they are talking about.
This CNN story is interesting:
Marijuana smoking does not increase a person's risk of developing lung cancer, according to the findings of a new study at the University of California Los Angeles that surprised even the researchers.
They had expected to find that a history of heavy marijuana use, like cigarette smoking, would increase the risk of cancer.
Instead, the study, which compared the lifestyles of 611 Los Angeles County lung cancer patients and 601 patients with head and neck cancers with those of 1,040 people without cancer, found no elevated cancer risk for even the heaviest pot smokers.
Ahh, guilt-free consciousness transformation. Anyone got a light?
Freakwitch T-shirts
I forgot to mention this: there are Freakwitch t-shirts in production even as we speak. They should be ready within a few weeks, and we will be selling them for $20 (plus shipping if we can't hand one to you) each. The shirts will be black T-shirts, with the
Freakwitch logo (at the top of Freakwitch.net at the moment) either centered across the chest, or in a smaller spot on the breast. So you can go big and brash, or small and subtle.
Get 'em while they're hot. You can say you got one of the VERY FIRST Freakwitch T-shirts ever made. If you are interested in ordering a shirt, email me at JWL -at- Freakwitch -dot- net.
recording acoustic guitars
Yesterday I did a lot of work in the studio. In short, I modified the new ribbon mic, replaced the tubes in the preamps, rearranged the recording space to do acoustic guitar overdubs, and started experimenting with mic techniques. I
wrote about it in much more detail over on the
Freakwitch forums, so go read it if you want some more advanced audiogeekery. Bottom line: once again I am blown away. These are the best sounding acoustic tracks I've ever recorded. Very very cool. Mixing this album is going to be a treat.
I did kind of get a late start yesterday, which isn't really a problem since I accomplished everything in the studio I'd hoped to anyway. Plus, I got to trade massages and spend the afternoon in a wonderfully squishy, comfortable headspace. Mmmmmm....
I know it's probably getting old to read me saying this, but damn. Life really is good....
Recording, and Love
Sorry for the sparse blogification as of late. Lots happening. Not the least of which is that we are officially finished editing basic tracks for the Freakwitch album. We have the following tunes ready for acoustic guitar overdubs: Too Bad For You, Seems Like, Tempted, Trouble On The Island, My Own Way, Beauty, Breathe, Tip of My Tongue, Sway, Life's Too Large, and Make It Through. Plus, I'm optimistic that we can nail Phasing and Surprise as a full band soon.
So this Friday, I'm heading to the studio earlier in the day. I'll finally get to complete the ribbon mic mod, install the new tubes in the preamps, strike the drum kit, and set up the space for acoustic guitar recording. I'm really looking forward to getting this ball rolling.
Additionally, Freakwitch now has a lead guitar player. This is a very exciting development; Todd is a good guy who has known Matt longer than I have. His style seems to mesh really well with what Freakwitch does, and it will only get better as he gets more comfortable with the material. The electric guitar has an energy about it that no other instrument has, and it's good to inject the Freakwitch sound with that energy.
So things Freakwitchy continue to move in very exciting directions. This summer things should blossom. We have two goals: finish the album (should be done this summer) and start gigging, regularly. The tentative plan (we have a business meeting this week to hammer out these details) is to pick 4 markets (Portland, Boston, and 2 others) and start regular gigging in those markets. Very exciting stuff.... this band has a LOT of energy, and as we get tighter and Todd gets more comfortable, it's just going to continue to grow. I think once we get this out in front of people, it will get some attention, either "finally!" (if they know us already) or "who the fuck are these guys, and where did they come from!!?" (if they don't know us).
On another note entirely, I've been experiencing and theorizing about the nature of Love as of late. As I wrote to one of my dearest friends recently, "Love is both a verb and a noun. I can easily control love-the-verb. Right action. No problem. But love-the-noun has a life of its own. It's either there, or it isn't." Over the past few weeks, I've been blown away by the amount of love-the-noun in my life, which of course makes me all the more enthusiastic about "doing" love-the-verb. :-)
I say once again: I am surrounded by blessings. Life is good. :-)
A 100% free software-based publisher
I haven't written about Free software in some time, but I thought it interesting that there is a book publisher in Italy
running their operation using 100% free software, including all document production (using Scribus, OpenOffice, GIMP, etc) along with all the "normal" Free software stuff (eCommerce, web serving, etc).
Cool....
Happy Beltane, or, what a difference a year makes
Happy Beltane to everyone.
It's been an interesting Beltane thus far, especially compared to last year. Last year was about as fiery as it gets for me. I enjoyed the fire, and it was an amazing time, one I will never forget and always treasure. But the fallout was very hard to deal with: heartbreak, sadness, guilt, and a full spectrum of other emotions. Lots of healing and lots of growth have happened since then. It was a very hard year, but ultimately one of the most fruitful of my life. I don't regret what happened, but I do own my part of the hurt from that. To those I hurt, directly or indirectly, this time last year, I bow to you. Namaste. And to you, with whom I explored the highest heights and the lowest depths, I wish you love and happiness. May there always be peace between us, so mote it be.
Having paid attention to the annual solar cycles every year for nearly two decades now, I've noticed a palpable shift in energy each year at this holiday. It remains one of the most powerful pagan holidays of the year for me (along with Samhain), for many reasons. And I still feel a bit burned by last year's fieryness. So this year I've held my Beltane exuberance in check, trying to stay grounded, and stay in the moment.
But, indeed, the energy is still there. And it's still wonderful feeling. And I don't think it's gonna blow up in my face this year. :-)
It truly has been an amazing year. Lots of difficulty, lots of "fertilizer." But the fruits of all this karmic labor are overwhelming to me.
I have never felt more blessed.
